16.1.12

I haven't been ill for a while, but now I am. Sucks, I wanted to go to school, I really did.


At some point, school was like hell to me. I was in a fight with a girl, and school was the last place I wanted to go to. I always felt like someone was talking about me behind my back, like everybody was staring at me - and like it was all my fault. It took all of my strenght away, I didn't do my homeworks, I just slept and ate. What hurt the most was probably the words, and I always heard what people were saying about me from my friends. That hurt. Was everybody going to think that I was a backstabbing bitch who makes everyone's life hell? Most of people did. But then my real friends stayed. They never left, they made sure that I wouldn't let that kill my mood, even though it did.  Nowadays the girl and I are actually really good friends.


"I'm so sorry, it breaks my heart to hear that."
"It's ok, no biggie."
"It's defenitely not okay."


Heartbreaks. Is it weird, that I never really have had a heartbreak? But now I have started to feel one. Why is life so unfair? When you find someone so perfect, like he's the first thing you want to see when you wake up and the last thing when you go sleeping. Life just isn't fair. I have the need to see him. I need to.

"You're beautiful from the inside and outside."
"Really?"
"Really."